


The Signs in Between

by TheLanceShow



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Langst, Sad Ending, Suicide, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Warning: Suicide, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 06:45:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11202627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLanceShow/pseuds/TheLanceShow
Summary: What to do, what to do?When you lose someone you didn't want to?Or that one time they needed a replacement.





	The Signs in Between

**Author's Note:**

> warning: do not read if you are uncomfortable with topics of suicide
> 
> Remember: another person's suicide is not your fault

There was always a pull in his gut whenever he saw Lance. It was only recently that he realized that it wasn't hate; he was totally in love with the guy.

Lance stomped towards him, playful scowl in place. Keith hadn't noticed that he was always teasing when he prodded at his attitude.

"Keith, do you know my jacket is?" He asked, crossing his arms. It took him a moment to respond as he stared at Lance's now defined biceps.

He cracked his knuckles. "Why would I know where your stupid jacket is, Lance?"

"Listen, samurai, I know you love how I smell-"

_I do._

"-but I can't walk around with a blanket around my shoulders." He finished with a shrug and a smile twitching.

"I don't know, Lance."

"Keith, you're so soft, like, seriously." Lance said with a small grin. "You make the cutest expressions. Like right now!"

"What?"

"Your eyes get big and you pout a little when you're confused. You're adorable."

"No," Keith growled, though he could feel his ears burning. "I'm not. I have a knife collection."

Lance smiled fondly, "To protect us and yourself. You're turning pink, oh my God. You're a good guy, you know?"

"I know I am. Did someone put you up to this?"

He shook his head, "No, I just think someone should tell you. Not at fighting and stuff; being a friend, you know? I enjoy your company, no matter how much I say I don't." Lance sighed and smiled at him again. "Bye, buddy."

Keith frowned and Lance laughed, walking away with a wave.

 

Keith sat upright suddenly, chest pounding. He was shaking and sweating from that stupid dream he kept having. Not bothering to get dressed, he made his way to the dining room.

It was so quiet.

He sat where Lance would usually sit and stared at the food goo that was placed there. Hunk barely blinked, poking it with a fork. Pidge had her arms curled around her knees on the chair. Shiro and Allura stared at nothing and even Coran said not a word.

Keith heard a splat and looked down at the food. A drop of water. He looked up, expecting to find a leak, before he realized it came from his eyes.

Allura cleared her throat, "I know you're all grieving, but-"

"No."

It came from Shiro. His knuckles were turning white from gripping his fork so tightly. "It's been three days. No."

It was silent again until Keith opened his mouth. "I keep having that dream. Where Lance seemed so happy and told me he appreciates me. Was he saying goodbye?" His nose burned and his lips were trembling.

"I blew him off," Pidge said, voice wavering. "He tried to tell me something. I told him to leave me alone and he shrugged with a smile. Then walked away."

"He said 'bye' instead of 'see you later.'" Hunk whispered.

"I should have told him... what he meant to the team." Shiro said softly, voice not strong for once. "I didn't do enough."

"This was Lance's decision-" Allura started, but Keith cut her off.

"Yes, but we pushed him to it," he stood and slammed his hands on the table. "We didn't deserve Lance, okay? He was too good for us and no-one fucking saw it." He strode from the room, coming back with the blue bayard.

"You see this?!" He screamed, tossing it onto the table; there were dried flakes of blood on it. "He put the muzzle of this _horrendous tool_  to the side of his fucking head and shot himself." He was sniffling now, the angry energy trickling out of him. "I never got to tell him how much I love him. I still have his jacket..."

Hunk left the table suddenly, heading towards his room. Keith collapsed into his chair, hands shaking as he pushed his palms into his eyes.

With an angry shout, Keith swiped his hand and watched the plate crash into the wall, the food slowly sliding down.

* * *

It's been a year.

The new blue Paladin is a Canadian guy that thought he was funny. The team tried to rationalize that Lance wasn't coming back, that they needed to treat the new team member as they should have treated Lance.

Keith tried to spar with him but would always quit midway, wanting the banter that Lance usually gave.

He wasn't as good with a gun as Lance was.

Pidge tried to talk to him like she should have talked to Lance. She ended up avoiding him all together; it was too painful to see someone else in that blue armor.

Hunk was depressed now. Keith couldn't remember the last time he smiled. He blatantly refused to speak to the new paladin.

Shiro would compliment him as he should've with Lance, even though he wasn't as good. He didn't give him a nickname.

Even Blue was still bitter. She would only open up if it was for a mission. She didn't speak or let her emotions leak through. She acted as if she was a normal ship.

"I have a feeling you guys don't like me," the new guy, Jaques, said.

"I don't," said Hunk. The gentle giant was no longer gentle as he walked away from the common room.

Keith said nothing and neither did Shiro.

"We miss him," Pidge said. "You're not him and I can't forgive myself enough to try to accept you. I'm sorry."

Shiro walked away with a small head shake.

Keith sat on the couch and Jaques did the same. "We all heard the gunshot. Shiro thought Lance was playing around in his room. Knocked but didn't answer. By then, everyone was gathered at the door because why would he be playing with a blaster in his room? Opened the door.

"There he was, on the ground, a gaping hole in his head. Blood on the wall, on the sheets. L--Lan... He was on the floor. There wasn't a note." Keith stared into his hazel eyes. "You have to realize how hard this is for us."

"But it's been six months since I got here," Jaques said. "I understand-"

"No, you fucking don't." Keith hissed, starting to stand. "It was  _our_ fault. Scolding him when it wasn't needed, not giving him enough compliments, his best friend spending less and less time with him, putting him down, ignoring him! You don't _do_ that to a friend! And we did that. You  _do not_ understand. You don't need to; just come to terms with the fact that you'll never mean as much to us as he did." Keith stalked to his room, trying not to cry. He missed him to the point where it was painful.

Lance's jacket was folded and resting at the foot of Keith's bed. It hurt to see the warm piece of clothing but it was something of Lance's. 

Hunk has his pajamas. He stared at it for hours on end.

Pidge has his sneakers. She wears them all the time, no matter how big they are.

Shiro has the ridiculous flag with Lance's face on it. It's propped in the corner of his room.

Keith has his jacket. He sleeps with it on.

Lance has Keith's heart. It died along with him.

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS A THING BECAUSE I ACTUALLY LIVE FOR LANGST BUT I'M TERRIBLE AT WRITTING IT


End file.
